The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

After I proposed to Ashley someone once said their "opinion of my intelligence has changed a little". That stuck with me, as an example of how I need to listen to my friends and let them say what needs to be said. I feel the same way about the person that said that currently.

I want to say it, be able to say it, but I can't. I remember being in that frame of mind. It didn't matter what crazy shit Ashley did, I was able to look past it. First it was little things, then gradually bigger and bigger. Eventually I realized "What the Fuck am I doing?" but I was too far along to make a clean break. After a while I finally stood my ground and said "If you don't call me to talk about this, we are done". No call. I kept my word. We spoke once, during the course of moving to our new apartments. Not since, though. I am pretty sure I would lose my cool that I am famous for. When we do see each other in passing, I laugh. I can see she is the same and I can't help it.

I see one of my best friends heading down that same path. It's like being on the other side of the mirror watching that part of my life unfold for someone else. I want to say something, but it will only lead to hurt. And more importantly, it wont matter. You see what you want to, you can justify anything when you are in love.

I stand by my previous statement. The friend I knew no longer exists. The person I knew had a take on the world, never back down, "Fuck It!" attitude and an independence of spirit that was unmatched. That part of my friend isn't there. It seems more like the person when we first met in high school, than the person that became my best friend in college. I see an unhealthy relationship with someone I am certain will break my friend and once again I am helpless.

I still have hope, but it's fleeting.

I have always been there to listen, agreeing when needed. But despite my being "Most Opinionated" in my school, I have never said my mind. If things don't change soon, that might...